i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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