I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
