You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
