Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize