Cold hands, warm shart.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
