I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
