I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
