So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
