just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
pop tarts are not kleenex
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
