You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
