I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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