We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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