12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
