Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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