We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You are the jesus of drinking
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
