Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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