I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
