so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
