whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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