need another drink. this is the easiest way
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Randomize
