I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
