dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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