There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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