I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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