I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize