you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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