mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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