ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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