New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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