I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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