i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
