College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize