I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
