I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
