i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
