I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize