She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
smell my finger.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I miss vodka workout Fridays
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize