Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Randomize
