They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
