So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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