Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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