i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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