I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
