I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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