he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize