I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
