I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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