Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
