"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
