meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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