Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
