I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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