On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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