The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
