Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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