walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
