He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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