i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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