Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
