Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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