i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
