Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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