shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
