Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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