I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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