Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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