it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just found puke in my bra..
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
